It's Just Hair! Debunking Myths Concerning Women With Natural/Relaxed Hair

I would really like to address this topic as it is so relevant with most women of color these days. It seems as though we have jumped from one stereotype to another by saying "Women who decide to go natural do so, so that they can embrace the hair God gave them" while on the other hand saying "Women who relax, do so because they are ashamed of their natural hair texture and have been brainwashed by media to accept a European standard of beauty." Now clearly, not everyone holds to both or either one of those views, but both are common responses out of most women if you ask them so I would just like to share my take on the matter.

Every woman that decides to get a relaxer is not doing so because they are trying to be or look like someone they aren't, or because they are ashamed of their natural hair. Some women do not have the desire to put all the time and patience it takes into caring for natural hair. There are various reasons as to why a woman opts for a relaxer over natural. Some may say, "Well that is putting more toxins in the body" Yeah true, but it isn't anymore worse than someone eating a meal from McDonalds, using commercial deodorants and  perfumes etc. So that argument kind of rules out. The same thing goes for wigs and weaves. Wigs and weaves serve as EXCELLENT time savers and they can also be highly beneficial to your hair if taken care of properly as it gives your hair a break from all the manipulation used while combing and brushing, etc.  Not all women who wear wigs and weaves are "fake" or bald headed. Some women like convenience or they just simply like the styles that wigs and weaves gives them. The reasons vary and could go on for quite some time....

Likewise, there are numerous reasons as to why a woman may choose to become natural. Many women love the variety and versatility that natural hair gives them when it comes to styles. Others are enjoying their natural curl pattern as many woman have been relaxed since childhood and do not remember what its like to have organic hair. But no matter what a woman chooses to do with her hair, it is just hair. One is not better than the other. If being relaxed works for you then it works for you! It is not fair to go around sticking your nose up at women who confidently wear their kinky curly fros or suave waves , and vice versa. If being natural works for you, then it works for you! It is not fair for you to go around labeling women who are relaxed as being superficial and what not. If there ever comes a time where you decide that what was once working for you is getting kind of boring or is no longer working, don't be afraid to try something new. Hair grows back, unless you knowingly have some type of hair growth disorder, otherwise, your hair will grow back so keep doing what works for you, and allow others to keep doing what works for them after all, it's just hair :)

Being the Proverbs 31 Woman, Is that *really* the goal?

If you pick up most books that teach women how to be Godly wives, more often than not, you will find that in some form or fashion the comparison to the Provebrs 31 woman is thrown in there. I always admired the qualities and character description listed in that chapter but something that has really been rather interesting to me lately is, how many woman are making that description the guideline on how to be a good wife. There is nothing wrong with that, but the thing that troubles me is how that has become the model for a wife instead of the character and nature of Christ which has both present and eternal profit.

If we are pursuing Godliness, everything else will be fruitful. We aren't going to be perfect but we are pressing on, continually, to grow more into the image of Christ. Again, I am not speaking negatively of  using Proverbs 31 as a role model but it shouldn't be the only thing used as an example on how to be a godly wife, it should be Christ ultimately. Growing to mature more into the character of Christ, that is the real goal! That is the high calling!  Philippians 3:12-14. All the godly qualities found in Proverbs 31:10-31 are there as an example to describe a woman who feared the Lord. How such a woman's character and conduct would be. She was a godly woman and out of that flowed other good things. If anything, Proverbs 31 should be used as a motivator to encourage us to grow in Godly fear and to want to mature more spiritually, not technically to be disciples of that example...

"Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit."- Matthew 7:17-18

If the root is good, the fruit will be good. If a woman loves the Lord and her aim is to please him in all her ways, she will be a blessing to her husband and all other people she comes in contact with. If prior to marriage you have lived a life in faithfulness, loyalty and devotion to Christ, that is only going to carry over into your marriage. The way your relationship is with God is more or less how it will be with your husband. May we continue to press on toward the *real* goal!

Others May, You Cannot

If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.
(Matthew 16:24-25)

If God has called you to be truly like Jesus in all your spirit, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility. He will put on you such demands of obedience that you will not be allowed to follow other Christians. In many ways, He seems to let other good people do things which He will not let you do.
Others who seem to be very religious and useful may push themselves, pull wires, and scheme to carry out their plans, but you cannot. If you attempt it, you will meet with such failure and rebuke from the Lord as to make you sorely penitent.
Others can brag about themselves, their work, their successes, their writings, but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing. If you begin to do so, He will lead you into some deep mortification that will make you despise yourself and all your good works.
Others will be allowed to succeed in making great sums of money, or having a legacy left to them, or in having luxuries, but God may supply you only on a day-to-day basis, because He wants you to have something far better than gold, a helpless dependence on Him and His unseen treasury.

The Lord may let others be honored and put forward while keeping you hidden in obscurity because He wants to produce some choice, fragrant fruit for His coming glory,
which can only be produced in the shade...

God may let others be great, but keep you small. He will let others do a work for Him and get the credit, but He will make you work and toil without knowing how much you are doing. Then, to make your work still more precious, He will let others get the credit for the work which you have done; this to teach you the message of the Cross, humility, and something of the value of being cloaked with His nature.
The Holy Spirit will put a strict watch on you, and with a jealous love rebuke you for careless words and feelings, or for wasting your time, which other Christians never seem distressed over.
So make up your mind that God is an infinite Sovereign and has a right to do as He pleases with His own, and that He may not explain to you a thousand things which may puzzle your reason in His dealings with you.
God will take you at your word. If you absolutely sell yourself to be His slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love and let other people say and do many things that you cannot. Settle it forever; you are to deal directly with the Holy Spirit, He is to have the privilege of tying your tongue or chaining your hand or closing your eyes in ways which others are not dealt with. However, know this great secret of the Kingdom: When you are so completely possessed with the Living God that you are, in your secret heart, pleased and delighted over this peculiar, personal, private, jealous guardianship and management of the Holy Spirit over your life, you will have found the vestibule of heaven, the high calling of God.

By G.D. Watson