Is it God's Will for Me to Marry?

Greetings Friends :) Hope you all have been well and enjoying the New Year thus far! Today, it seems the Lord has placed something on my heart to want to share with you ladies and gents. Over the past few days Ive had the opportunity to talk to a few young ladies, and one of the questions or worries they have are "I'm not sure if it's God's will for me to marry! I think I had better just accept that I will be single for the rest of my life!" I empathize greatly with these young ladies as this was once a question that troubled me as well at one point in time. However, it led me to really examine what God's word had to say concerning marriage and His will for his children concerning it.

Before I begin the study let me just say that this is what I have come to learn based off my own personal study of this topic. If you see or notice any errors, please contact me or let me know in the comments section. Also, test everything said here against the word of God for yourself. I am not claiming to know it all or have all the answers, but what the Lord teaches and shows me, it is my hearts earnest desire to share with the brethren and sisteren! (If sisteren is not a word, it is today!) So with that said... Let's begin! :)

"Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas?"- 1 Corinthians 9:5

If you read all of 1 Corinthians chapter 9, you will see that Paul was talking about renouncing his rights as an Apostle for the sake of the commission entrusted to Him by Christ. None of his "rights" were wrong in and of themselves, but he was willing to forsake them in order to fully and faithfully devote himself to the ministry assigned to him. What compelled Him was his love for Christ and His love for the Body of Christ. Note, he was not under compulsion, God did not come to him in a dream or a vision and say "Paul, you must forsake your right to marry in order to follow me" No, he could of freely married if He wanted to but He willfully chose not to in order serve the Lord without distraction. (1 Corinthians 7:32). However, the other Apostles as far as we know were married and along with their wives fully gave themselves to the commission assigned to them and to ministering to God's people. (Acts 2:42)

"I give the advice above more as a concession than as a command. I wish that all men were like myself, but I realize that everyone has his own particular gift from God, some one thing and some another. Yet to those who are unmarried or widowed, I say definitely that it is a good thing to remain unattached, as I am. But if they find they have not the gift of self-control in such matters, by all means let them get married. I think it is far better for them to be married than to be tortured by unsatisfied desire. "- 1 Corinthians 7:6-9

"But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry. Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well. So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better. A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God."- 1 Corinthians 7:36-40

One thing to note is what Paul is not saying. Paul is not telling people that if you have not exercised one of the gifts of the spirit which is self control and that you are letting your lusts master you, that you should find a spouse and marry (1 Corinthians 6). What Paul is saying is that if you have a natural sexual appetite that can and is being tamed as you exercise self control but not utterly quenched, then it is best for you to marry. To the man/woman who is able to wholeheartedly renounce their right to marry for the sake of advancing the Gospel and the kingdom of God then they should not marry and in Paul's estimation, they fair better off as they do not have to worry about dealing with certain hardships and trials that having a family can/will bring (1 Corinthians 7:28).

Based off of these scriptures alone, we can see that Marriage is not forbidden, it is something that in fact should be honored by all (Hebrews 13:4) and it is something we can in faith, pray to God about if it is a desire of ours trusting that He will provide in His timing. Beware if anyone is teaching you to avoid or despise marriage as Paul later addresses that as being something taught by people under demonic influence (1 Timothy 4:1-5).

"My opinion is this, that amid all the difficulties of the present time you would do best to remain just as you are. Are you married? Well, don’t try to be separated. Are you unattached? Then don’t try to get married. But if you, a man, should marry, don’t think that you have done anything sinful. And the same applies to a young woman. Yet I believe that those who take this step are bound to find the married state an extra burden in these critical days, and I should like you to be as unencumbered as possible, All our futures are so foreshortened, indeed, that those who have wives should live, so to speak, as though they had none! There is no time to indulge in sorrow, no time for enjoying our joys; those who buy have no time to enjoy their possessions, and indeed their every contact with the world must be as light as possible, for the present scheme of things is rapidly passing away. That is why I should like you to be as free from worldly entanglements as possible. The unmarried man is free to concern himself with the Lord’s affairs, and how he may please him. But the married man is sure to be concerned with matters of this world, that he may please his wife. You find the same differences in the case of the unmarried and the married woman. The unmarried concerns herself with the Lord’s affairs, and her aim in life is to make herself holy, in body and in spirit. But the married woman must concern herself with the things of this world, and her aim will be to please her husband."- 1 Corinthians 7:26-34

Ah! Now here is the good part! "God must certainly be telling me to not get married now!" Well, hold on a second, let's keep in mind what we have already come to know concerning brother Paul's exhortations. Paul is not telling people to treat their spouses as an estranged thing, to go to their jobs and slack off because the world is going to end! No, no, no sillies :) Paul is merely saying that whatever condition you find yourself in today, then be content in that. As the old saying goes "If you aren't content in Christ while single, marriage certainly won't do you any good!"

"Don’t worry at all then about tomorrow. Tomorrow can take care of itself! One day’s trouble is enough for one day."- Matthew 6:34

"I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances may be. I know now how to live when things are difficult and I know how to live when things are prosperous. In general and in particular I have learned the secret of facing either poverty or plenty. I am ready for anything through the strength of the one who lives within me."- Philippians 4:11-13

"How do you know what will happen even tomorrow? What, after all, is your life? It is like a puff of smoke visible for a little while and then dissolving into thin air!"- James 4:14

Do not think that you are in sin because you are married, or that you are in sin or less holy because you are unmarried. He is also saying, do not treat these things as if they had ultimate significance. Do not waste today being consumed by thoughts and cares about tomorrow. We also have to guard our hearts against becoming too concerned with marriage or anything else limited to this life because if too concerned with them, they could in fact serve as a hindrance to following Christ (see the Parable of the Great Banquet and the Cost of Following Christ Luke 14:16-35)

If you are married, then rejoice and be content that you are married, continue to seek to Glorify God in all you do. If you are unmarried, rejoice and be content that you are unmarried, continue to seek to Glorify God in all you do. Paul never condemned nor sought to make anyone feel bad if they were married or desired marriage, nor did he ever suggest that it may not be God's will for someone to marry or not to marry. That is clearly a decision that is left to the individual, as long as they marry in the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:39, 9:5). The only thing he states is that married couples will face more severe trials as when the time for persecution comes, it will be more difficult to withstand certain things. Another thing I also believe brother Paul was emphasizing was not to place your utmost hope and affections on these things. They are good, proper and encouraged to be desired but do not set your hope on them alone, let your hope consistently and solely be upon Christ.

In conclusion to the matter, based off of this study, we can say it is God's will for you to marry if you desire to do so. That doesn't mean go out looking for a spouse because we are told that as unmarried individuals:

"He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit."- 1 Corinthians 7:32,34

Matthew 6:33 tells us to keep our hearts and minds fixed on His kingdom (evangelizing, making disciples) and His righteousness (throwing off the old self and the deeds of the flesh, walking in the spirit and living a life of holiness) and all the other things that pertain to this life, will be added unto us. Pray and ask God to help you focus on this current season in your life as being single but do not sorrow in it at all, ask Him to help you grow in holiness and be fit for His use. When the time is right and your heart begins to draw towards a certain individual, go to the Lord about it. If he gives counsel that it is the right time to pursue marriage, and that this is the right person for you, then by all means go for it! Just remember that as the word says, their is a time and purpose for every activity under heaven and that everything is beautiful in it's season. Trust Him :)