Is it God's Will for Me to Marry?

Greetings Friends :) Hope you all have been well and enjoying the New Year thus far! Today, it seems the Lord has placed something on my heart to want to share with you ladies and gents. Over the past few days Ive had the opportunity to talk to a few young ladies, and one of the questions or worries they have are "I'm not sure if it's God's will for me to marry! I think I had better just accept that I will be single for the rest of my life!" I empathize greatly with these young ladies as this was once a question that troubled me as well at one point in time. However, it led me to really examine what God's word had to say concerning marriage and His will for his children concerning it.

Before I begin the study let me just say that this is what I have come to learn based off my own personal study of this topic. If you see or notice any errors, please contact me or let me know in the comments section. Also, test everything said here against the word of God for yourself. I am not claiming to know it all or have all the answers, but what the Lord teaches and shows me, it is my hearts earnest desire to share with the brethren and sisteren! (If sisteren is not a word, it is today!) So with that said... Let's begin! :)

"Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas?"- 1 Corinthians 9:5

If you read all of 1 Corinthians chapter 9, you will see that Paul was talking about renouncing his rights as an Apostle for the sake of the commission entrusted to Him by Christ. None of his "rights" were wrong in and of themselves, but he was willing to forsake them in order to fully and faithfully devote himself to the ministry assigned to him. What compelled Him was his love for Christ and His love for the Body of Christ. Note, he was not under compulsion, God did not come to him in a dream or a vision and say "Paul, you must forsake your right to marry in order to follow me" No, he could of freely married if He wanted to but He willfully chose not to in order serve the Lord without distraction. (1 Corinthians 7:32). However, the other Apostles as far as we know were married and along with their wives fully gave themselves to the commission assigned to them and to ministering to God's people. (Acts 2:42)

"I give the advice above more as a concession than as a command. I wish that all men were like myself, but I realize that everyone has his own particular gift from God, some one thing and some another. Yet to those who are unmarried or widowed, I say definitely that it is a good thing to remain unattached, as I am. But if they find they have not the gift of self-control in such matters, by all means let them get married. I think it is far better for them to be married than to be tortured by unsatisfied desire. "- 1 Corinthians 7:6-9

"But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry. Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well. So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better. A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God."- 1 Corinthians 7:36-40

One thing to note is what Paul is not saying. Paul is not telling people that if you have not exercised one of the gifts of the spirit which is self control and that you are letting your lusts master you, that you should find a spouse and marry (1 Corinthians 6). What Paul is saying is that if you have a natural sexual appetite that can and is being tamed as you exercise self control but not utterly quenched, then it is best for you to marry. To the man/woman who is able to wholeheartedly renounce their right to marry for the sake of advancing the Gospel and the kingdom of God then they should not marry and in Paul's estimation, they fair better off as they do not have to worry about dealing with certain hardships and trials that having a family can/will bring (1 Corinthians 7:28).

Based off of these scriptures alone, we can see that Marriage is not forbidden, it is something that in fact should be honored by all (Hebrews 13:4) and it is something we can in faith, pray to God about if it is a desire of ours trusting that He will provide in His timing. Beware if anyone is teaching you to avoid or despise marriage as Paul later addresses that as being something taught by people under demonic influence (1 Timothy 4:1-5).

"My opinion is this, that amid all the difficulties of the present time you would do best to remain just as you are. Are you married? Well, don’t try to be separated. Are you unattached? Then don’t try to get married. But if you, a man, should marry, don’t think that you have done anything sinful. And the same applies to a young woman. Yet I believe that those who take this step are bound to find the married state an extra burden in these critical days, and I should like you to be as unencumbered as possible, All our futures are so foreshortened, indeed, that those who have wives should live, so to speak, as though they had none! There is no time to indulge in sorrow, no time for enjoying our joys; those who buy have no time to enjoy their possessions, and indeed their every contact with the world must be as light as possible, for the present scheme of things is rapidly passing away. That is why I should like you to be as free from worldly entanglements as possible. The unmarried man is free to concern himself with the Lord’s affairs, and how he may please him. But the married man is sure to be concerned with matters of this world, that he may please his wife. You find the same differences in the case of the unmarried and the married woman. The unmarried concerns herself with the Lord’s affairs, and her aim in life is to make herself holy, in body and in spirit. But the married woman must concern herself with the things of this world, and her aim will be to please her husband."- 1 Corinthians 7:26-34

Ah! Now here is the good part! "God must certainly be telling me to not get married now!" Well, hold on a second, let's keep in mind what we have already come to know concerning brother Paul's exhortations. Paul is not telling people to treat their spouses as an estranged thing, to go to their jobs and slack off because the world is going to end! No, no, no sillies :) Paul is merely saying that whatever condition you find yourself in today, then be content in that. As the old saying goes "If you aren't content in Christ while single, marriage certainly won't do you any good!"

"Don’t worry at all then about tomorrow. Tomorrow can take care of itself! One day’s trouble is enough for one day."- Matthew 6:34

"I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances may be. I know now how to live when things are difficult and I know how to live when things are prosperous. In general and in particular I have learned the secret of facing either poverty or plenty. I am ready for anything through the strength of the one who lives within me."- Philippians 4:11-13

"How do you know what will happen even tomorrow? What, after all, is your life? It is like a puff of smoke visible for a little while and then dissolving into thin air!"- James 4:14

Do not think that you are in sin because you are married, or that you are in sin or less holy because you are unmarried. He is also saying, do not treat these things as if they had ultimate significance. Do not waste today being consumed by thoughts and cares about tomorrow. We also have to guard our hearts against becoming too concerned with marriage or anything else limited to this life because if too concerned with them, they could in fact serve as a hindrance to following Christ (see the Parable of the Great Banquet and the Cost of Following Christ Luke 14:16-35)

If you are married, then rejoice and be content that you are married, continue to seek to Glorify God in all you do. If you are unmarried, rejoice and be content that you are unmarried, continue to seek to Glorify God in all you do. Paul never condemned nor sought to make anyone feel bad if they were married or desired marriage, nor did he ever suggest that it may not be God's will for someone to marry or not to marry. That is clearly a decision that is left to the individual, as long as they marry in the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:39, 9:5). The only thing he states is that married couples will face more severe trials as when the time for persecution comes, it will be more difficult to withstand certain things. Another thing I also believe brother Paul was emphasizing was not to place your utmost hope and affections on these things. They are good, proper and encouraged to be desired but do not set your hope on them alone, let your hope consistently and solely be upon Christ.

In conclusion to the matter, based off of this study, we can say it is God's will for you to marry if you desire to do so. That doesn't mean go out looking for a spouse because we are told that as unmarried individuals:

"He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit."- 1 Corinthians 7:32,34

Matthew 6:33 tells us to keep our hearts and minds fixed on His kingdom (evangelizing, making disciples) and His righteousness (throwing off the old self and the deeds of the flesh, walking in the spirit and living a life of holiness) and all the other things that pertain to this life, will be added unto us. Pray and ask God to help you focus on this current season in your life as being single but do not sorrow in it at all, ask Him to help you grow in holiness and be fit for His use. When the time is right and your heart begins to draw towards a certain individual, go to the Lord about it. If he gives counsel that it is the right time to pursue marriage, and that this is the right person for you, then by all means go for it! Just remember that as the word says, their is a time and purpose for every activity under heaven and that everything is beautiful in it's season. Trust Him :)

Guard Your Thoughts, Guard Your Heart

Guard Your Heart

" Keep your heart with all diligence,
      For out of it spring the issues of life"- Proverbs 4:23

"With eyes wide open to the mercies of God, I beg you, my brothers, as an act of intelligent worship, to give him your bodies, as a living sacrifice, consecrated to him and acceptable by him. Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mould, but let God re-mould your minds from within, so that you may prove in practice that the plan of God for you is good, meets all his demands and moves towards the goal of true maturity."-Romans 12:1-2


Watch What You Are Thinking

"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled."- 2 Corinthians 10:4-6

"Don’t you see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and then out of the body altogether? But the things that come out of a man’s mouth come from his heart and mind, and it is they that really make a man unclean. For it is from a man’s mind that evil thoughts arise—murder, adultery, lust, theft, perjury and blasphemy. These are the things which make a man unclean, not eating without washing his hands properly!"- Matthew 15:17-20

"For as he thinketh within himself, so is he..."- Proverbs 23:7

"Delight yourselves in God, yes, find your joy in him at all times. Have a reputation for gentleness, and never forget the nearness of your Lord. Don’t worry over anything whatever; tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer, and the peace of God which transcends human understanding, will keep constant guard over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus. Here is a last piece of advice. If you believe in goodness and if you value the approval of God, fix your minds on the things which are holy and right and pure and beautiful and good. Model your conduct on what you have learned from me, on what I have told you and shown you, and you will find the God of peace will be with you."- Philippians 4:4-9

The Just Shall Live By Faith Not by Feelings

Remain Faithful Unto Death

(The purpose of me posting these two videos is more so as an encouragement for us to continue to seek to purge our hearts from the things of this world and to set our affections on Christ and that which is eternal. The video by brother Washer is very timely and prophetic as it is a few years old now but he mentions towards the end of the video, "be prepared to lose it all". The second video pretty much breaks down the real deal behind the NDAA and how it will mostly effect Christians.)

For a while there I thought maybe I was reading the scriptures wrong as every time I would open my bible, somehow or another I would always come across this scripture:

"Anyone who puts his love for father or mother above his love for me does not deserve to be mine, and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me, and neither is the man who refuses to take up his cross and follow my way. The man who has found his own life will lose it, but the man who has lost it for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:37-38

I kept saying 'Yes Lord, I get that, not to love anything not even my own life more than you' but now I am beginning to see that he is preparing me, and not only me but many others for the things we may have to endure for his names sake, right here in America.

Many of you may not know, but the Marital Law Bill was signed on December 31st, 2011 by President Obama. He says that he has no intentions of using it, but knowing good and well that next year is election year, doesn't not mean the next man in office wont enforce it, or that Obama will go back on his word and do what he wants to do. In a way, this should be alarming to us, but it should also encourage us to redeem the time, saturate your mind with God's word, do the work of an evangelist, dedicate yourselves to prayer, seek to be Holy and found worthy to suffer for His names sake. The way of the cross is never easy but we can do all things through Him who gives us strength! Let us arise from our slumber, let us refrain from setting our hopes on worldly things and seek that which is above. If our hearts are set on this world, we will not make it. If we see our husbands, wives, children, parents, best friends, turning on us, what will we do? Will we be committed to Christ all the way or will we in our hearts be "looking back" as Lot's wife. Let it not be so brethren, let it not be so at all.

"Put up with your share of hardship as a loyal soldier in Christ’s army. Remember: 1) That no soldier on active service gets himself entangled in business, or he will not please his commanding officer. 2) A man who enters an athletic contest wins no prize unless he keeps the rules laid down. 3) Only the man who works on the land has the right to the first share of its produce. Consider these three illustrations of mine and the Lord will help you to understand all that I mean."- 2 Timothy 2:4-7

"Remember always, as the centre of everything, Jesus Christ, a man of human ancestry, yet raised by God from the dead according to my Gospel. For preaching this I am having to endure being chained in prison as if I were some sort of a criminal. But they cannot chain the Word of God, and I can endure all these things for the sake of those whom God is calling, so that they too may receive the salvation of Jesus Christ, and its complement of glory after the world of time. I rely on this saying: If we died with him we shall also live with him: if we suffer with him we shall also reign with him. If we deny him he will also deny us: yet if we are faithless he always remains faithful. He cannot deny his own nature." -2 Timothy 2:11-13

"And it came to pass that, as they went along the way, a certain man said unto Him, "Lord, I will follow Thee whithersoever Thou goest."And Jesus said unto him, "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man hath nowhere to lay His head."And He said unto another, "Follow Me." But he said, "Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father."Jesus said unto him, "Let the dead bury their dead, but go thou and preach the Kingdom of God."And another also said, "Lord, I will follow Thee, but let me first go bid those farewell who are at home at my house."And Jesus said unto him, "No man, having put his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the Kingdom of God."- Luke 9:57-62

"Don’t pile up treasures on earth, where moth and rust can spoil them and thieves can break in and steal. But keep your treasure in Heaven where there is neither moth nor rust to spoil it and nobody can break in and steal. For wherever your treasure is, you may be certain that your heart will be there too."- Matthew 6:21

If your heart is set on the things of this world, you can be sure that when the world comes crashing down, your heart will too, but, if you set your heart on things above where Christ is seated, when he who is your life appears, you also will appear with Him in glory. If we lose our life for His sake, we will find it. Let us be willing to renounce any and all for His names sake if that's what it takes to follow Him. Let nothing or anyone hinder you from following Christ with your whole heart. He is worth it. Eternity is worth it.